The Inspirational Teacher

Who I am- a combination of decisions I made about myself when I was young and my strong suits- allows me to have successes in my life.  My bosses have always enjoyed having me as teacher at their school, students always make growth in my class and, generally, I'm a pretty low maintenance teacher (after my first year- which was mayhem).

Unfortunately, the parts of my personality that make me successful also give me anxiety, sleep loss, minimal joy and cause me to burn out easily.  It's like I'm a sprinter running a marathon that has no end in sight.

It came to a head for me last week when, in the midst if huge successes in my classroom, I found I didn't feel inspired.  This is absolutely not going to work in my life.  So I started to investigate what could be causing this loss of fulfillment in this profession that is packed with opportunities to make a difference.  This is what I found:
1.  The number of hours I was required to work and the number of hours I was actively doing school work differed by an average of 15 hours a week.
2.  I significantly jumped the tally of work hours by tacking on all of the hours I spent processing, reviewing and worrying about things happening at school.  Rarely did I take action on these thoughts.

It seems that thinking about school outside of actually doing productive work is totally unproductive.  As a matter of fact, it drains me, distracts me, gives me anxiety and steals my joy. Somehow, I concluded early on in my career that happiness occurs in this order:

Work hard   ---   Be successful   ---   Be happy

I'm certain that I've been doing this forever because, even knowing that this doesn't work for me, I can't seem to easily stop doing it.  Current happiness research shows that us Americans have it backwards.  This is actually what happens:

Be happy.  ---   Work harder and enjoy it.  ---   Significant increase in chances of success.

So how have I been stopping my auto-pilot Inspirational Teacher from taking over?  I make a choice to drop the act.  Every moment I get to choose who I am going to be.  I conscientiously let go of this "character" I play at least 10-15 times a day.  Every time I choose to drop it, I have a moment of fear, when I worry that if I stop juggling 20 imaginary balls I created, my students will fail and I'll be a failure as well.  But after that completely irrational moment, I am certain that I am making the best decision to live a balanced life.  I know because joy and excitement swoop in to take fear's place and I'm at peace with the difference I make and how I go about making it.

Bullies

I like bullies.  Actually, if I ever have control over who's put in my class, I always ask for the grade level bullies to be put in mine.  They're outspoken about how they feel, they break rules to get what they want and, most importantly, they're leaders.  Mind you, they lead people to make poor choices, but that's a minor detail.

Seriously, though, it's so much easier to teach right from wrong than to teach leadership skills.  Many years have I taken the class bully, turned them around to making good choices, and BAM! my class is run for me.  There are only minor behavior problems for the rest of the school year.

So, the question becomes, how do I turn these stubborn leaders from leading negative choices to leading positive choices?  I have a dialogue that I have with the bully.  It goes something like this:

Me:  You were calling Katie a hippo and making fun of the way she looks.  Do you know what that makes you?

Bully:  *shrugs*

Me:  A bully.  And do you know what a bully is?

Bully: Someone that's mean to someone?

Me: No.  Someone that doesn't like something about themself.  You see, someone that likes themself doesn't feel a need to put other people down to feel good about themself.

Bully:  *shocked face. eyes get wide*

Me:  So my question to you is, what don't you like about yourself?

Bully: *shrugs*

Me:  It's ok, I'll wait until you figure it out.

And then I silently what until that inevitable moment (and it always comes) when they realize we're not going anywhere until they say something.  Their eyes start to well up and then the flood gates open up and they admit whatever insecurity they have.  At that moment, I acknowledge that they said it but make sure not to validate them or make them feel better.  They need to sit in the pain they've been hiding in anger towards others.  During this time, I get them to really have empathy for their victims and usually they figure out they need to apologize.

After this interaction, a few things happen:
1. My relationship with this child is strengthened ten-fold.
2. The kid follows my directions in class very well (and gets everyone else to do the same).
3. The kid stops bullying.

I've never done this with a kid and heard of him/her relapsing into bullying.  It's unbelievable.

Ya know, us, as adults, have forms of slight bullying as well.  Gossip is one.  I once heard gossip defined as information about another person that would change how the other would feel about them in a negative way.  I see that when I choose to take part in gossip, it's really just because I want to feel better than that person in some way.  I don't gossip about people I truly respect.  It can take a strong commitment to live a gossip-free life (not even listening to it).  But keeping the lens that gossip is to make people feel better about themselves helps me stay committed not to tearing people down behind their back, but to living a life of empowering them.

The start of a new community

We started a new school year and I've had two days with a brand new group of kids.  This year is unique year for me, because out of the seven years I've taught, I've never taught the same curriculum or grade level twice.  Until this year.  So I enter this year not having to start over in learning a new curriculum or school.  But I do have to learn new students.  I have a clean slate with these kids and I am anxious to, as I joke with my friends, induct them into my "cult."

Generally, I have to "undo" a lot of their wanting rewards and rules and punishments for things.  They also tend to like to police each other (be "in charge" and tell the teacher who's misbehaving) and lie to get out of trouble.  In my class, they must learn it is FAR better to admit to making a mistake than to lie about it.  They also must shift their dynamic from wanting to have power over each other to working together.

In general, when I ask them a question, they are masters at giving me the answer they think I want to hear (which is rarely the truth).  For example, I asked them this today, "Why is it a bad idea to be loud during transitions in our classroom?"  My favorite incorrect answer was, "We'll interrupt the other classes." We are in a self-contained trailer.  No one can hear us.  It's all scripted responses.  It takes a while to get them to actually THINK about their responses to questions, instead of just repeating what they've heard in the past.

I volunteered to take a really difficult boy this year.  He's impulsive, has no filter and completely lacks empathy for other people.  His home life is extremely turbulent and he seems to have a broken volume control on his voice.  I was wondering what in my class could make a difference for him.  So far, it seems to be community meeting.  The first day, he took the opportunity, when Class Concerns came up, to share that he had a concern about his own behavior.  This has only happened once before, when a student admits to being concerned about himself.  He was able to state the impact of his
actions and then committed to showing more self control.  While I know these are just words, he has declared this in front of the whole class.  I then respond, "OK, great.  Don't just talk about, BE about it.  Show us you're committed to showing self control."  Today, he shared a Shout Out to another boy in the class for working hard and finding the most examples to a question I had asked.  Honestly, I didn't even know he was capable of noticing what others did inside the classroom, much less recognize someone for doing something specifically awesome.  There might be hope of teaching him empathy after all.

Today I also gave the students my number.  They were confused, then blown away that this was occurring.  I also gave them a script to read when they call me which involves them introducing themself, asking how I am and then stating their question clearly.  I do this because I have a no excuses policy in my class for homework.  This covers the "I didn't understand" excuse.  I have already received 3 calls today.  One from a very high functioning girl who, I think, just wanted to check if it worked.  And the other two were from another girl.  She first called me for help on her homework then called back because her 7th grade brother needed help on HIS homework!  That definitely made me laugh.

My little community is just beginning but I think we're off to a good start.

Punishment

Today, my students entered the cafeteria and were told immediately they were on silent lunch from an older Teacher Assistent that had replaced our recently quit Lunch Monitor.  My students' responses were perfect: Why are we being punished?  Did we do something wrong?

I teach my students to question the rules they're told.  After all, the people who changed history didn't do so by following the rules.  Clearly, I model how to question rules in a respectful way. So, I was stuck was a stubborn TA who was desperately trying to have control over the cafeteria, not trying to steal her power, and respond to a class that, rightfully so, felt this mandate was unfair.

After trying to reason with her twice, I gave up frustrated.

Even though I was playing damage control most of my lunch, I am proud of my students' ability to critically think about what's happening and stick up for themselves.  They weren't being obedient at first, and I don't blame them.  There was a time when I valued obedience in my classroom because, well, it was easier.  Following directions, while important, is not the greatest skill in life.  Obedient children make teaching, in this moment, easier.  But what about the future?  I don't believe emphasizing the celebrated Following Directions skill will help my students impact the world.  I want them to think about what people are asking them to do, and WHY they're being asked to do it.

This morning, I followed my students to their reading class (I teach them math, science and social studies) to invest them in a writing competition called "The One Pager."  They had completely written it off to the Literacy Teacher as useless and boring.  We had about a 10 minute talk about how doing this activity will help improve their drowning writing skills and the ways that writing shows up in an adult's life.  There was pushback about it being boring (things can be important and boring at the same time) or not needing it (everyone could use some improvement).  I'm sure I didn't invest every kid in the class.  However, I know I got the wheels turning in everyone's brains.  And, no matter what, my students know that when they improve their academic skills, they are making their lives better.

What matters is WHY

In my classroom, we have two rules: work hard and be nice.  We actually call them our rules for life.  Everything we do, I want my students to see the connection to their lives. I tell them that I, as an adult, live by those two rules as well.

In my classroom, "integrity" is common vocabulary and the community benefit is placed over individual.  It is a place where students see how their actions today affect their opportunities in the future.  It is a place where sitting quietly in the classroom isn't enough, but sitting quietly for the right reasons is expected.

My end goal is to break the cycle of poverty my students are living in and get them into and through college to have careers that they love and, more importantly, living a life they love.  Honestly, selfishly, I want my students to not only graduate from college, but to change the world in a way that makes it fairer and more peaceful.

The foundation my classroom is built on are what I call "the levels."  These are Lawrence Kholberg's Six Levels of Moral Development.  These levels describe people's motivations.  This is what it looks like in my class:

I make good or bad choices because:
I am avoiding punishment (level 1)
I want a reward (level 2)
I want to impress someone (level 3)
I follow the rules (level 4)
I am considerate of other people and compromise for the greater good (level 5)
I am living by my own beliefs (level 6)


Whenever I have introduced the levels to a new class, and have explained them thoroughly, I always ask what level my students think they're each on.  Typically, they will rate themselves quite high (a lot of 4s, 5s, 6s).  I then bring them back to reality and tell them that the vast majority of them are not on any level above two.  I also tell them that it's not their fault- the adults in their lives (teachers  and parents) have been training them and expecting them to be on levels one and two their whole lives.  Usually, at that moment in the conversation I get a few "ohh"s as they start to reflect on their life and see the patterns of bribery and punishment that have paved their way to my class.  I also tell them, though, that now they know there's a better way to live.  And for that moment on, the upward climb to level 6 starts.

Because part of living on a higher level (5 and 6) is understanding your impact on others, we have Community Meeting in my classroom.  This meeting is run by a student by the second month of
school.  The order of Community Meeting goes like this:

1. Shout Outs
Classmates recognize each other for kind things that were done that day.  The shout out must be specific for the action and the person.  Some examples of typical shout ours are:
"I'd like to give a shout out to ____ for lending me a pencil." (They never bother me for pencils when they forget it at home.  They take care of each other.)

"I'd like to give a shoutout to ____ for teaching me a new strategy in math."

These shout outs having a pretty wide range.  I enjoy secretly listening to them because I find out kind things that my students did that I would never have known.  It's tricky teaching students to be on higher levels because the typical "Teacher, look what I did!" rarely happens.

2.  Class concerns
This is when the students share any problem they have with each other.  They do so in the format of an "I feel" statement.  For example, "I felt sad when you snatched the pencil out of my hand."  I want them to identify with the feeling they had instead of blaming someone else for "making" them feel a certain way.

The cool thing about this part of Community Meeting is that, as the students start to feel increasingly safer with each other, stuff comes up in this part that I never noticed (or happened when they weren't in my classroom).  They also have a chance to stick up for their learning and feel a sense of control and power within their own community.  At this point in the school year, they call each other out for more things than I do.

3. Out of Integrity
This is the part where students can admit any part of the day that they had broken their own integrity. Out of integrity goes like this:
1.  State how you were out of integrity
2.  State the impact of your actions (on self and others)
3.  State what you are going to do next time.

The nice thing about out of integrity is they know they can admit anything and they won't get in trouble.  It's not about catching the bad guy.  It's about coming clean about things that they've done to compromise their own integrity and clean it up with their classmates.  It's nice when they can admit it before being called out by their teammates, as well, during the class concerns.  It, mostly though, allows the students to feel complete about their day.  There's no need for guilt or shame.  We all make mistakes, and taking responsibility for them is half the battle.

What's important

For two weeks straight, the specials teachers (art, music, library, computers, PE) have the same report about my kids when I pick them up.  It goes something like, "They had a great class.  They were so productive and worked well together, but they lost it when they lined up."  So, as they get rated on a 1-10 scale, they've consistently gotten 9's.

My younger self would have fussed at the class, making them practice lining up until it was perfect.  I would have had a serious talk with them and been really uptight about the whole thing.  But the way I've run my class this year, it would have been very discordant.  We're constantly questioning rules and routines, asking, "How important is this?  Will this help me be a better human being?"  For example, after dealing with an ambush of tattles on curse words heard from other kids in the school, my students have gotten to understand that there are SO many more important things in life than an arbitrary word someone chose to be considered "bad."

So, my position on the matter was decided: if these other teachers had no other complaints, and my students were kind to each other and tried their hardest, they're doing pretty well.  But, my job isn't done yet.

Recently, my students took a test that tracks their progress in math throughout the year.  One of my students only went up 2 points from winter to spring.  While it was an improvement, it was a small one.  This student has gone through a range of emotions and decisions in which he shared with me along the way:
-He immediately wanted to retake the test to get a higher score
-Remorseful that he didn't do better
-Scared his score may go down instead of up
-Excited to sit for over an hour the next day just to improve a test score that would more accurately represent his learned knowledge

Oh, and this kid had ADHD.

He also voluntarily puts himself on punishment if he thinks he forgot to go the day before.  At first, I thought he liked it, so it didn't bother him.  It came out recently how much he really hates it.

The fact that he will be bored and will also be missing PE to take a test was not even a blip on his screen.  The fact that sitting on silent lunch for half an hour for a kid with a disorder that causes him to never stop moving is very difficult does overshadow his own integrity.  He understands that doing his best is important.  He understands that punishment is temporary, but who he is is for the rest of his life.

There is no reason to hesitate.  He is clear on what is important.

BEING about it

So I realized that I haven't fully explained the title of my blog.  The phrase "Don't just talk about, BE about it" is posted prominently next to the door of my classroom.  The students heard that phrase every day at the beginning of the school year for quite a while.  It gets to the heart of one of the habits I have to un-teach my students.  They come to me in fifth grade with the perfect answer of what they're "supposed" to do in situations when asked.  For example, "In the hallways, how are we supposed to walk?"  All of my students would answer some version of "Quietly and in a straight line."  There's no question about that.  The question is, Why don't they do it all of the time?

So, after asking about the behavior expectations in the hallway AND discussing why we do it (because we're considerate of the other learners in our school, not because my teacher told me to or it's the rule), I follow up with, Don't just talk about, BE about it.  So they now know- I can say what I'm going to do all day long (and the words are important to put the intention out there into existence) but after that, they need to actually do it for it to mean something.

This becomes tricky to teach because this means that, from now on, I can't be living under the idea of "Do what I say, not what I do."  I'm held accountable for this too.  If I say I'm going to do something, I need to do it.  Here's a great example of a tricky situation that comes up with adults in my classroom:

During independent work time, I expect a very quiet classroom.  I, personally, need silence to work, and expect many of my students need it too.  The problem is, some other teachers/adults that come into my classroom didn't get that memo.  I've literally had adults come into my classroom and loudly exclaim, "Wow, it's quiet in here!"  At the beginning of the school year, I never addressed it.  But since really hammering home this concept of not just talking about, I have to BE about my quiet classroom, no matter who is causing the noise.

So, in the name of being good to my word, living into my beliefs and really modeling this concept, I've had a few awkward interactions with adults about needing to be quiet in our space.  My students get to see what it looks like to take a stand for what you're BEING about.

Gratitude

It feels like we are in the Age of Entitlement.  Rich and poor alike- students generally feel a sense of entitlement towards getting things for free.  As I entered this school year, I was brainstorming ways to  transform that sense of entitlement.  I realized that the arch nemesis of entitlement was gratitude.  Coming from low-income homes, my students are handed most things for free in school.  Break fast and lunch, school supplies, transportation, books, play grounds, Smart Boards in every classroom. So we spend a lot of time talking about how nothing is free in this world- someone had to pay for it and work to get it to them.  We write thank you cards to every guest we have in our room (including the impact they had on us), we say thank you every day to the lunch ladies (even if they never respond).

The biggest way that we show gratitude on a daily basis in our classroom, though, is through Shout Outs.  This process goes like this: any student can give a Shout Out to another student during the Community Meeting at the end of the day.  They say, "I want to give a Shout Out to _________ for (a specific deed the student did)."  They are never allowed to give a Shout Out to someone for "being my friend" or "for being nice."  Since my students run their own Community Meeting, I love to eaves drop on the Shout Outs.  The things my students are doing for each other, without me ever noticing, without them pointing it out to me, and their willingness to recognize that service publicly in front of their peers is absolutely extraordinary.

Admitting You're Wrong

I have a sign over my classroom. Door that reads:

Responsible people aren't afraid to admit when they make mistakes.

I had been drilling that into my students' heads since day one of school.  Fast forward to about the second month of school when I overslept and ended up arriving at work about half an hour late.  I really wanted to pretend like it didn't happen.  But I decided that I couldn't.  If I was going to talk about it, I also needed to be about it.  So, I sat my students my down on my rug and apologized for being late.  I pointed out that I made a mistake that morning and I understand that that mistake impacted them and other teachers.  Mind you, this conversation was neither easy nor natural.  I was slightly awkward  and very uncomfortable.  But being comfortable isn't my goal.  Authenticity is.  My students were initially shocked that their teacher was apologizing to them and then set out to make sure I knew that they had been taken care of and were fine.  Essentially, they didn't want me to feel bad.  That was a sweet sentiment.  Out of this slightly painful conversation, I wanted them to see an authentic conversation where someone made a genuine mistake and owned up to it.  They definitely got the blushing cheeks-awkward pause-stuttering version of authenticity that morning.


One Friday, a few months later, I simply ran out of time for a short recess you promised the kids after coming back to school from a field trip.  Incomplete about this over the weekend, I addressed it Monday with my kids. "I just have to say, I was out of integrity about Friday. I gave your word and I didn't keep it because we ran out of time."  I then listed all of the impacts I saw that my lack of integrity had on them.  Last, I made a promise for what I will do next time.  Their response was "it's ok."  They didn't beg for extra recess another day.  We just left it at that- complete about it.

The Power of Trust

My classroom is special.  We have integrity.  All of us.  The end goal is not to have highest test scores or to have straightest, quietest line in the hallway. It is to be extraordinary human beings.  For the rest of our lives.

This process unfolds in unusual and unexpected ways.  This blog is to share those unseen moments of growth and inspiration.

I start the year discussing fear's place in classroom.  The students are afraid of failing or looking bad, the teacher is afraid of the very same things.  We discuss replacing trust with fear and do some trust falls to really feel the physical experience of building trust.  We also discuss how breaking someone's trust can damage a relationship.  Trust is more important than good grades, more important than being liked, more important than getting out of trouble.  My students routinely 'fess up to many mistakes, readily accepting their punishment.  Because they know that lying to me about doing their homework will have far worse, and longer lasting, consequences than simply having to do it during lunchtime.  A child who does their homework because they truly know it's important versus one who does it because they're afraid of punishment is a whole different kid.  My homework routine in my classroom goes like this:

Students walk in and take out heir homework.  We pass out pens to rgade with.  I read aloud the answers to the homework.  No one sneaks in a pencil to finish their homework.  After the grading, students who didn't complete it are accounted for by voluntarily identifying themselves when I ask who doesn't have complete homework.  I'm not circling the classroom like a hawk looking for cheaters.  There is never any crying or fighting about who has to do Homework Lunch.  They know the consequences and prefer to keep my trust.

During the second quarter, it came out that some of the students were still afraid of me (or more afraid of the consequences they would receive for doing things). This upset me. The goal is for students to really internalize doing things because they believe it is the right thing to do and not because someone is punishing them or even bribing them a reward.  I had a meeting with two well-respected students in the class to gauge the situation and called a Community Meeting for that afternoon.  I told the students that their two classmates were going to lead the meeting and then I stepped out of the room and waited patiently outside of the classroom, door propped open, but out of ear shot.  After about 10 minutes of chatter, and shushing, and chatter again, they ettled down.  To this day, I still don't know what they talked about.  All I know is, about 20 minutes later, a student popped her head out and told me they were ready for me.  When I walked in, I had no idea what to expect.  I sat down in front of the group and suddenly, out of no where, they all say at once "we're sorry."  Sorry for what?  I was not expecting an apology.  They weren't in trouble.  I just wanted them not to be afraid anymore.  Since that day, there has been a large shift in our trust.  I can't describe how it feels.  I just know that they have my back and they know that I will always have theirs.